early childhood (mis)education

if you parent to control
if you teach to control
a youth’s actions
if you seek to project onto others
your version of themselves
your version of intellect
your version of proper
if your desired outcomes are not self-agency for ones interests, story, or body
you choke the light out of possibility
just b/c someone choked the light out of you
b/c you hold on to your pain so beautifully
so much so
you’ve forgotten what free choice tastes like
doesn’t make your practice right
your way is not the only way
the roads which had their way with you
are not the same roads of our youth
so do NOT normalize self-abnegation
due to your inability to shape-shift
to meet the needs of our youth
to meet the needs of our future
you don’t know everything for everyone
you may not always know what’s best
what may work for you may not work for them
and that’s okay
it’s okay
it’s okay

on witches who fight to heal

what good is a witch who cannot heal

as good as a witch who cannot cast a hex

who cannot make do when the devil comes knocking on their door

a kind of witch who bare their wounds to the world in desperation

forgetful of times of war

forgets that healing hurts too

when wounds are spread open and salted

cross a wall of fire to find power on the other side

behind an intent to heal must come a will to fight

dig into rotting parts

vomit all the vile poured in our mouths that we’ve called love

a pound of flesh to force the hand of God, would you do it

you’ll be surprised what you will do when you’ve played all your cards and nothing worked

make back alleys your home

your mouth a credit card

cornered in, would you bare your teeth

lay in your fangs, bite, hard

they’ve always called us crazed

cleansed us in fire down cuz we took matters to our own hands

plucking off my sisters one by one

what would you do huh

worship the dirt underneath our fingernails

who to make room for the blows that give you life

the blows which are to come

the blows you’ve yet to launch

blessed hairy brown femme

they ask me to shave for them
to wax everything in between my thigh
to clear landings for pounds of flesh who wont
uplift my people

to hide the most beautiful
parts of me you gain pleasure in secrecy
as fetish, in kink

since when did body types get cast in menus
that leave slim-thick hairy vers bitches outside
the dessert section

immigrant parents

so much pain between siblings
for mistakes of our parents
b/c of things they could not shield us from

absent birthdays
broken promises
tired working-class souls

the irreconcilability of it all

we cannot be afraid to salt each other’s wounds
always shared the same nakedness outside the womb
the same scars and traumas too

this was always ”tough love”
for brighter days and fatter paychecks
always mourning, always grateful, always full

seeing love in dark places

I appreciate the way
this world turned her back on you too
sucked the air out of each lung w/o asking
left you for dead, queer, immigrant child
I never really ran away from my pain
it just got caught somewhere in my esophagus
lost beneath the cords of survival
we’ve known each other for years
died and came back twice
just to appreciate the way you look up at the moon
and hold me down like gravity
you’ve set me on fire

militant unbounded love for my femmes of color always

Among being aware of the danger my sister and her son live due to domestic violence
Among a legal battle over land my mother fought for w/ a greedy father unknown to me
Among a friend being threatened with violence by their partner to not leave them
And another coming clean about being sold for sex
I now realize my internalized fear of intimacy with men is valid
How it’s informed by a proximity with women who fear for their life on the daily
The thing about patriarchy is that it comes with its particularities
Because you wont really know which of the women I speak of are undocumented, transgender, and/or in college
Or how the world wont do enough to alleviate the violence
So I wont try to love a broken boy into a man again
Until the world understands how we’re all implicated in femecide
The day you let him speak over her
The day you let him feel entitled to her body
Is the day you sign permission slips for unmarked graves
And motherless children

a prayer for my people

ferrel dessert child howls at the moon

up 4am in lines to ravish rotting pieces of an education system rigged only for a few

border hoppers

river crossers

children of sinking ships

and broken rafts

a dream of someday overcoming hardship built upon the blood, sweat, and backs of my sisters

my tired sisters

they’ll make you barter with your identity

thumb through history books desperate for reflections of you

pages of ancestors dripping blood from being forced to birth the “New World”

start fearing your people to the point that you’ll snarl at the very thought of starting a family w/ one of your own

you speak with a forked tongue

split in half by two nations

scare yourself to sleep because you’ll barely make it through the day w/o breathing fire

always welcomed labels demonizing you: mexicano, indigeno, native, undocumented, queer, tranny, faggot, immigrant child

paid cash upfront to do things someone would only do out of survival

a tired sun beads my peoples foreheads w/ sweat

moistening the earth beneath them being raped from over-cropping

spraying chemicals making women birth dead babies

eventually we’ll do the bees work too

for 10 cents a flower

speak of extinction like we play no hand in the bee kingdoms demise

like if it was fate who disappeared the Native American world(s)

when it was Spain who forced the hand of God unto my people

half breed mestizos

exotic enough for sexual consumption

but forever dirty to be always kept in the shadows of this country

don’t forget the stories of your brown skin

it’s been 500 years and what has changed?

I pray my nephews understand the matriarchy boiling in their veins

resurrecting lost legacies

breathing my first true breaths

my first conversations with God

(Inspired by Ariana Brown’s, “Wolfchild” & the state sanctioned deportations of 2015-16)